Mountain City yellows They're not on the grounds they're in the wall This loneliness is so distracting I'm barely missing you at all Will I survive the Easter in this sloughy womb of noxious isolation? No I can feel the sabers now in my Illusionary casket Now your charming little virus Is getting all your attention As I drag my chair up to the window To absorb some solar lashings It's your saint's name day tomorrow But last year's paper wasps, they are not living anymore Why should I be scorned like some catalyst For famines when it's me who's been exiled in apartments? Oh, must I always be Chaos arpeggiating? Mountain City yellows I see them glitching through the floor The minotaur of self-abuse can't pick himself up anymore Your last violent freak out was a eulogy to us Oh, I was truly touched that you still cared enough to throw psychotic fits And now I'm sparring with the no-one The void, the vacuum of conscience As I mine the rust of my celebrity With snarls and mock laughter I have the sense that you're wanting me to chase you But what's the point? We can't be together without starting a row Why should I be scorned like some catalyst For famines when it's me who's been exiled in apartments? Oh, must I always be Chaos arpeggiating? Why should I be scorned like some catalyst For famines when it's me who's been exiled in apartments? Oh, must I always be Chaos arpeggiating? Chaos arpeggiating

I'm such a vulnerable lad With nothing to protect me From your world so bright and full of laughter I went home and sank my head into the pillow I closed my eyes and tried to hear it again To hear you laughing again I cried in a dream While i was staying at your place I tried to talk about it over breakfast But you made a joke out of it And i never told you why My, my, my, didn't it seem That you were only playing with me I wrote you a letter on the flight home Which evolved into a love poem So, of course, i couldn't send it then I cried in a dream While i was staying at your place I'm such a vulnerable lad With nothing to protect me From your world so bright and full of laughter

Other people can be so disappointing I need to spend more time alone What gives us the right to be so depressing? 224 West 16th Street was our cathedral These tears I cry for you must prove that I'm not the demon that I'm meant to be You say you love me though just like you aren't too shady Knowing what you know, it must be hard to Trust someone who's so similar to yourself Don't you know it's pointless to try and bully me into caring more Assume no fault of your own It's really just the boredom of being someone's captive These tears I cry for you must prove that I'm not the demon that I'm meant to be Check-in at the Jane hotel Terrible people As usual as dead from anti-anxiety meds And the old gang grasping for air that's not there Seeking out my own authentic season in hell Though it doesn't feel quite as pompous At least not as I can At least not as I can tell Dream, dream Misery [?] yawning Wrecked me for the summer's [?] That I am free and almost alone Down in Jersey I feel better Why would you ask? Why should you care how I'm doing? Do I bother you with those kinds of vapid questions anymore? I wanna matter, I wanna be your friend, not a poison This kind of love, our kind of love is so demoralizing These tears I cry for you must prove that I'm not the demon that I'm meant to be Seeking out my own authentic season in hell Though it doesn't feel quite as pompous At least not as I can At least not as I can tell Seeking out my own authentic season in hell Though it doesn't feel quite as caustic At least not as I can At least not as I can At least not as I can tell

Cato, play with my head I won't know the difference If we're living in the novelist Or statistician Cato, mess with my concepts My inner vision Like a strobing light Please confuse my every decision I can't even pretend that you are my friend What has happened to you and I? And don't say that I have changed 'Cause man, of course I have Are you far too depressed Now even to answer the phone? I guess you just want to Shave your head, have a drink and be left alone Is that too much to ask?

You are such a crazy girl You're such a crazy girl And I don't know why I even try To make you love me I want it, babe But you are just a, crazy girl You are so crazy girl I don't know why I even try To help you (can't help you, can't help you) When I first met you at that Al-Anon meeting And you made that reference to "All your goodies are gone" And even sang a verse I was amazed how husky your singing voice was I wanted to talk to you so badly, but I didn't know how to come on because You got that kind of beauty that makes people nervous I know it's fucked, but before we got together I even hooked up with one of your cousins Just to feel somehow closer to you Because I knew, like, you guys were best friends And you talked every day And it was thrilling to touch something that had touched you In my head, you were like this goddess But in fact, you're just a Crazy girl You're just a crazy girl I don't know why I even try To understand you (can't stand you, can't stand you) Your ass is crazy girl, yeah You are so crazy girl And I don't know why I even try To relate to you (can't wait for you, it's too late for you) Yeah My god, I should've realized On our second date When you dragged me into the bathroom at Tameka's house And screamed at me for like twenty minutes Because I had contradicted you in front of your friends I was like, "Oh!" And then later that night, at my apartment As punishment, you killed my betta fish You just threw it out the window I did everything I could to make you happy I participated in all your protests Supported your stupid little blog Got a Bowflex Wore colored contacts to match your dresses Whatever your eyes caught, I bought Still we fought Like Ike and Tina, but in reverse Because you're so Crazy girl You're just to crazy girl And I don't know why I even try To understand you (oh no) Well, I think you're crazy girl Yeah, you are so crazy girl And I don't know why I even try To make sense of you (sense of you, sense of you) Tell me why Someone tell me why (why) I should wait for you still (ooh ah, ooh ah) Think I was like crazy fan over you Like I'm star struck over you Like I'm getting handcuffed over you

Tim, wish you were born a girl So I could've been your boyfriend I know it's not possible now I just never met a girl I like half as much as you And we could lay around in bed, stay there all day Or at least until the afternoon And I could make you spaghetti with tomato sauce With just a touch of oregano and a parsley stem And then when you got sick I could take the day off work I could've made you chicken soup And we could watch soap operas Oh, those TV dramas I could catch your cold And you could take care of me If I could've met you at school, or met you at work It would have changed everything Those years of losing, confusion and insecurity They would have been shared They would have been easier Tim, wish you were born a girl So I could've been your fiance I'm not saying you can't be all these things for me But it's just not the same because you're a man And so am I